everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
