It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
