I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
