You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
