The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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