YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
