I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
