so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
