you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
