So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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