I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
