You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
