This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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