Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
