the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
