sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So apparently I’m into choking now
Pooping to opera.
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