too bad you live with your parents still
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
