The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
