I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
