Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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