RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize