Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
