I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
