How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize