Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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