ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
