The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
