its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
