I want to walk on stilts...naked
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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