The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
