i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
