I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
