would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize