I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
