going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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