ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
