the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this just has baby written all over it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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