I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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