Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
