lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
