just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
