Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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