So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
