Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
