If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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