all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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