We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize