she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
