Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
