don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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