well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize