i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
