i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
