hotel room ftw
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
