ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
