just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
