this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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