when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
