I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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