i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize