there's paper in my vomit.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
