Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
