So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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