Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and she was petting her beer can
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize