Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
