Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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