in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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