Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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