Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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