Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
